Guide To Choosing a Number That is not Disrespectful to Wayne Gretzky.

Presented here are the numbers 1 – 99 and an explanation as to whether or not you choosing to wear that number is disrespectful Wayne Gretzky.

  1. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he is the best player of all time AKA #1.

2. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many episodes of The Young and the Restless he was in.

3. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how dimensions Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey had.

4. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he recorded 4 200-point seasons.

5. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he has 5 children.

6. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he is 6 ft.

7. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many actor credits he has on IMDB.

8. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many games he played in the 1984 Canada Cup.

9. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many Hart trophies he won.

10. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many Art Ross trophies he won.

11. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 11am is the time Wayne Gretzky Estates opens on a Sunday.

12. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many consecutive 40-or-more goal seasons he had.

13. Disrespectful to Gretzky because there were 13 episodes of ProStars.

14. Disrespectful to Gretzky because the most assists he ever put up in a single playoff series (other than a final) was 14.

15. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many career overtime assists he has.

16. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many seasons he led the league in assists.

17. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he was 17 when he signed with the Indianapolis Racers.

18. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Wayne Gretzky Estate’s Okanagan Whisky Oak Aged Cask Red costs 18.99

19. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how old you needed to be to have been to have been allowed to buy alcohol at Gretzky’s restaurant in Toronto.

20. Disrespectful to Gretzky because how many people have reviewed Wayne Gretzky Red Cask Whisky on the LBCO website.

21. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how old the author of this piece was the first time she cried in the bathroom of Gretzky’s before listening to the calming tones of Wayne describing his career to psyche herself back up so she could perform in a show for The Second City‘s National Touring Company, which was next door at the time.

22. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in the year he scored his record 92 goals, 22 of them went in the net during the first period.

23. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many games were in his longest consecutive assist-scoring streak.

24. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many game winning goals he had in playoff games.

25. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 25 is how many career All-Star Game points he has.

26. Disrespectful to Gretzky because the LCBO has 26 Gretzky products listed on their website.

27. Disrespectful to Gretzky because his restaurant in Toronto lasted 27 years.

28. Disrespectful to Gretzky because $28 USD is the current price for an unopened box of Wheaties with Gretzky on the front.

29. Disrespectful to Gretzky because his final goal was on March 29th, 1999.

30. Disrespectful to Gretzky because the most points he ever had in a single playoff year included 30 assists.

31. Disrespectful to Gretzky because at age 31, he was sidelined from the season with a herniated disc in the thoracic region of his spine.

32. Disrespectful to Gretzky because one of Andy Warhol’s portraits of him is 32″ wide.

33. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 33 is 99 divide by 3 and it’s rude to divide Gretzky.

34. Disrespectful to Gretzky because The Simpsons has won 34 Emmys, and Gretzky once provided his voice to that show.

35. Disrespectful to Gretzky because $35 is the cost of that box of Wheaties in CDN.

36. Disrespectful to Gretzky because the Coyotes had 36 wins in their final season being coached by Gretzky.

37. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he racked up 37 points in 31 games for the team in the regular season for the St. Louis Blues.

38. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how old he was when he retired.

39. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he scored 50 goals in 39 games.

40. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many actors IMDB has listed as having acted in ProStars.

41. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 41 is 4 and 1, and in the 1984-85 Stanley Cup Final, the Edmonton Oilers won the series 4-1.

42. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how many years it has been since his NHL debut.

43. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he scored 43 goals in his debut season with the Edmonton Oilers.

44. Disrespectful to Gretzky because a box of Wayne Gretzky Cabernet Merlot is $44.95. 

45. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 45% of all 150 or more points in a seasons were recorded by him.

46. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Wayne Gretzky Drive NW in Edmonton has a transit score of 46 on Walk Score.

47. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s the most points he ever put up in a single playoff year.

48. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how old he was when he stepped down as coach of the Coyotes.

49. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he won his 10 scoring titles by an average of 49 points.

50. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how many wedding guests the Wayne Gretzky Barrel Cellar can accommodate unless it’s a standing reception.

51. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he had a 51 game point scoring streak.

52. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that is how many goals he scored in the 1985-86 season.

53. Disrespectful to Gretzky because the run time of 30 for 30 Kings Ransom is 53 minutes.

54. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Andy Warhol (who once painted Wayne Gretzky) famously hung out at Studio 54.

55. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s the price of this t-shirt featuring Wayne on Etsy with a rather large stain on it.

56. Disrespectful to Gretzky because it costs $56 to buy an adult 10-punch swim pass at the Wayne Gretzky Sports Centre in Brantford.

57. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Wayne Gretzky Parkway Trail in Brantford has a walkabilty score of 57 on Walk Score and is described as “Somewhat Walkable”.

58. Disrespectful to Gretzky because to take the emergency first aid course at Wayne Gretzky Sports Centre in Brantford you must buy the Canadian Lifesaving Manual for $58.

59. Disrespectful to Gretzky because until recently, he was 59.

60. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he is 60.

61. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he was born in ’61.

62. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Gretzky NHL 2006 has a score of 62 on Metacritic.

63. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 6 + 3 is 9. Put two of those babies side by side and that’s some disrespect right there.

64. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey came out on N64.

65. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he scored 65 hat-tricks in his NHL career.

66. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 66 looks like 99 if you look at it upside down.

67. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how many points the Phoenix Coyotes had in his second season coaching the team.

68. Disrespectful to Gretzky because the Wayne Gretzky Sports Centre is ranked 5th out of 68 attractions in Brantford, Ontario.

69. This number is acceptable.

70. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he played 70 in his final NHL season.

71. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’71 he was an extra in the movie “Face-Off” (not to be confused with Face/Off.)

72. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how many points he had when he was 16 playing with the Seneca Nationals.

73. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he scored 73 shorthanded goals.

74. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he scored the 1000th goal of his life in 1974.

75. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he racked 75 points in his season with the Seneca Nationals.

76. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how many beats per minute there are in Nickelback’s Rockstar, which had Wayne in the music video.

77. Disrespectful to Gretzky because you could draw little loops on 77 and it would look like 99.

78. Disrespectful to Gretzky because ’78 was when he entered the WHA.

79. Disrespectful to Gretzky because ’79 was when he entered the NHL.

80. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he won all his Stanley Cups in the 80s.

81. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’81 he was in a 7 Up commercial with his brother Keith.

82. Disrespectful to Gretzky because ’82 he surpassed a record that had stood for 35 years: 50 goals in 50 games.

83. Disrespectful to Gretzky because that’s how many reviews of Roy MacGregor’s “Wayne Gretzky’s Ghost: And Other Tales from a Lifetime in Hockey” there are on Good Reads.

84. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’84 Janet played Matt Dillon’s girlfriend in a movie.

85. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’85 he purchased the Hull Olympiques of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League.

86. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he weighed 86 kg when he entered the NHL.

87. Disrespectful to Gretzky because ’87 was the year he started dating Janet.

88. Disrespectful to Gretzky because ’88 was the year he was married.

89. Disrespectful to Gretzky because guest hosted SNL in ’89.

90. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’90 his horse Saumarez won France’s Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe.

91. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’91 he became a co-owner of the Argos along with John Candy.

92. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he had 92 goals in the 1981-82 season.

93. Disrespectful to Gretzky because Forbes estimates that Gretzky made $93.8 million in endorsements from 1990 to 1998.

94. Disrespectful to Gretzky because ’94 is the year he sold the Argos.

95. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he presumably at one point owned a computer that ran Windows 95.

96. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he played for the Blues in ’96.

97. Disrespectful to Gretzky because in ’97 he got has final playoff hat-trick.

98. Disrespectful to Gretzky because 98 is too close to 99.

99. Disrespectful to Gretzky because he was #99.

One thought on “Guide To Choosing a Number That is not Disrespectful to Wayne Gretzky.

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