I want the Astros in the World Series. Crucify me.

A brief text exchange between my neighbour and I before game 4 of the series:

“… hoping the Rays can knock out Houston tonight”

“Big time.” I replied.

This was a lie, I want the Houston Astros in the World Series. Please, townsfolk! I beseech you, put away your torches and instruments of torture.

Like many, I took great pleasure in the banging of trash cans during spring training. I mockingly pouted alongside Joe Kelly, and bristled at the idea of the Astros entering the playoffs with a losing record (a charity case). They were doomed, it seemed.

… and then they drew the twins. I’m not going to go through their entire run so far but suffice to say they swept, out scoring them 7-2. The run was alive.

… onto the A’s…

… and here we are, the Astros against all odds climbing out of a 3-0 hole against the defence focused, dinger producing, Tampa Bay Rays. Not an underdog finding the will, but a wounded Goliath. This is becoming the scene in Game of Thrones where The Mountain sweeps the leg and crushes a gloating Prince Oberyn’s head (a scene that fully causes me to barf).

We’re faced with a few undesirable options here. Atlanta/Tampa would have a suck factor off the charts. Near unwatchable, don’t kid yourselves. The only remaining options are vindication or villainy, and only the Houston Astros in the World Series will guarantee an exciting outcome. Here is a helpful chart:

Rays/Braves = Snoozefest

Rays/Dodgers = Will Dem Bums choke? Or another expected title?

Astros/Braves = The ultimate evil vs. Some young fun boys

Astros/Dodgers = The holy war

The only constant is the Astros. They will deliver us 4+ exciting watchable World Series games. The Astros organization faced justice, at some point they should be allowed to re-enter baseball society, it just happens to be a lot sooner than people were comfortable with. 

My final effort to convince you is this, we, the fans, were robbed of an opportunity to boo these cheating assholes back to hell, and celebrate every strikeout like we won the goddamn World Series. MLB got their say, opposing teams got a piece, but the fans never got their rebuttal. There is a price on the “piece of metal” Houston got to keep. A Houston title in 2020 would be the only thing to keep the vengeance alive. Otherwise this will fade to the background and the bastards will win again. Give them another “hunk of metal” and make them know that’s all it is worth in 2021.


EDITOR’S NOTE: Scott Lloyd is wrong and bad. He does not speak for the Get Up Ball team.

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